My Big Secret

I have a major secret that I keep from everyone I meet. Can you guess what it is? No, it’s not that I love Harry Styles — I’m open about that and I feel like everyone deserves to know about our unwavering love for each other. My secret is something I can never and will never share.

My perfume. Sorry for the clickbait but thats the world we live in now, and did you really think I would be sharing personal information with the world like that? I’m saving the good stuff for when I’m eventually on a reality show and getting paid.

For those who know me, I invest in my perfume collection. I don’t have a huge one in comparison to some other people I know but, its well curated which I honestly can’t say for those people. Honestly, if you have over 10 perfumes (not including cheaper every day scents) you’re doing it wrong and you need to get your life in order.

Each scent has a specific time and place I have assigned to it. Some are cold month scents (musk or spice), some are warm month scents (florals), some are year round, some are day, night, or both. I’ll choose a scent based on what I’m wearing, how I’m feeling, the alignment of the stars, if mercury is in retrograde — you know how it goes. But I will never willingly share my scent because I don’t want you to know.

I spend so much time contemplating what the perfect addition to my collection will be, I spend the money on quality products that will separate me from people, and I go to great lengths to find a niche scent that you wouldn’t be able to find even if you tried your fucking hardest. So no, I will never tell you what scent I’m wearing because I don’t want you to have it, I’ve made the mistake before and trust me never again.

Now sure, there are a few exceptions to my rule. Something like Coco Mademoiselle I will rant and rave about because everyone already fucking owns it. I also think its a great starter perfume for anyone in the market for their first perfume. Or something cheap like the Elizabeth and James Nirvana perfume. Nirvana White is a great everyday perfume for someone who doesn’t like a sweet floral scent — its a musky peony which is honestly the best perfume for the price.

The rule usually applies to scents I’ve spent over $150 on, and because I’ve spent that much you got me fucked up if you think I’m about to just give that info away. If someone asks, I will kindly give them the name of a pedestrian perfume they can buy at Sephora — maybe its comparable, maybe its not.

If I could give you any advice it would be to not settle. There are millions of perfumes in the world that do not exist in your nearest mall. If you want something exotic or new — look in a different place, spend a bit more, and find something perfect. My most recent perfume purchase I discovered in the bathroom of Harrods. Something drew me to that scent (there were 5 to 6 on the table and I picked that one), I waited two years before I got it because I didn’t know if I could rationalize the price. When I got it, it took me back to that place and reminded me of my time in London. That’s my last bit of advice — make sure its meaningful (cause that shit ain’t cheap).

Here’s a list of perfumes that I won’t buy but will recommend to you:

  1. D&G: Pour Femme
  2. Burberry: My Burberry
  3. Nest: White Sandalwood
  4. Marc Jacobs: Honey
  5. Balenciaga: Florabotanica



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