While trying to figure out which of the 7 deadly sins best represents who we are, Aphrodite said with WAY too much certainty that mine was gluttony. After a thorough denial period of being completely offended, I’ve decided to capitalize on this sin of mine. When I crave food, it is always this kind of food: undeniably bad for me, inarguably delicious. If this sounds like you, too, hit up one of these 4 spots in NYC to satiate that hunger and then hate yourself the next day :).
A chicken finger restaurant. Need I say more? No, but I will anyways. You must go here and get a basket of fingers and fries, with, and this is important, the Mac Sauce (cheddar cheese sauce with diced jalapeños). I once went here and asked for an extra thing of sauce, only to be told that it was $1—I’m sorry, but $1 extra for sauce? I can pay $1 at McDonald’s and get another serving of FRIES. I accidentally blurted out that this was wild and the worker decided to give me the sauce for free. That wasn’t my goal, and I wasn’t trying to be rude either, I was just genuinely dumbfounded! Later I realized it makes sense because the sauce is amazing but you live and you learn. Go here if you’re drunk at 1am and want something a bit more gourmet than Mickey D’s.
This place isn’t really greasy, but it’s delicious. They make cookies the size of Ben Affleck’s fist and sell them 2 for $5. The flavors are not ordinary, with just a few being Maple Bacon (UGH), Funfetti (yes), Red Velvet, Sch’mores, Glazed Pistachio, etc, etc. Also the classic Chocolate Chip—they put a sprinkling of salt on all of their cookies that elevate them to no end. While I would never usually encourage the consumption of milk, just because that’s weird, I suggest pairing them with the cold dairy drink so you can dunk while you eat. Go here after dinner for an exciting dessert.
I mean, wow. The specialty artichoke pizza is basically spinach artichoke dip that made love to pizza dough. (This post is getting stranger and stranger as I continue writing.) A whole pie is $32 so definitely bring 2 friends and get half a pie instead.* You don’t need more than one slice but I won’t judge you if you go ahead and eat more anyway. Plan to walk back home after the meal—trust me, after ingesting this you will want to burn some calories. Intense exercise directly after consumption is NOT recommended. I don’t have any experience with this because I would never try to do that but it just seems like a disclaimer I should include. Go here on a 6th date or whenever you’re comfortable showing someone how much you can, and want to, eat.
*Before she says anything and I have to print a retraction, this is Aphrodite’s recommendation.
I’ve already mentioned fries and sauce but you didn’t think I would only do that once, right? Gluttony is all about over-consumption. These fries are Belgian style (which is French for delicious)* and there are over 30 sauces and toppings. This place is charming and fun and fried potatoes are always a good idea. As someone who hates ketchup, I appreciate all the different mustards and mayos and concoctions Pommes Frites offers. Go here, buy a whole slew of dips, and then figure out which one is your favorite.